empire state of mind
...if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere…
The idea of moving to New York and living in Manhattan started as a pipe dream. After leaving Manila and building a life in Singapore, could I really pick up and move again? This time even further away - literally and figuratively - from my comfort zone; well, why not give it a try?
I was in the States for work and decided to spend a few days in The City* before flying back. I had been introduced to a lovely Singaporean lady who was working within a similar department as I was in the firm. She kindly took me to lunch and we had a lovely discussion about the similarities and differences between Singapore and New York; that was 2014 and both business hubs had their roles to play to drive global growth with the financial crisis in the rearview. This was one of those pivotal moments in my life, I remember this almost like it was yesterday. We ate at the Le Pain Quotidien (a.k.a. LPQ) on East 44th and I remember walking out of there thinking “I may just be able to make this happen! Is this what it feels like to be in an empire state of mind?” Coincidentally, Taylor Swift’s Welcome to New York had just been released around this time and I took it as a sign.
I didn’t jump on this opportunity as whimsically as I had taken on Singapore; I was a little bit older and I’d like to think a little bit wiser too. I had conditions for this move, and damn proud of myself for coming up with them. I mustered up whatever courage I could scrounge up and reached out to the lady I had lunch with to kindly ask if she could keep an eye out for a role with the specifics I had in mind. I needed the courage because I was putting conditions on my dream, to me it was the equivalent of saying I want to climb the corporate ladder but only if the next rung is exactly this far away from the one I’m currently on.
Lo and behold, she responded saying that the role had just become available and asked if I was interested to apply. Interested? I treated that application like I was defending a thesis! The stars aligned for me on this one and I eventually made it to New York but there were a few obstacles along the way that I will talk about in a future post. In the meantime, here are a few things to ponder on.
That 2014 trip wasn’t all work… there was some play too.
view from Monarch Rooftop
Network... simply put, I would not be where I am now without my network. Building a meaningful network has been and remains to be very important. Why do I say ‘meaningful’? Because as I look back on one of my first networking events, I actually do not remember anyone I met but I do remember hiding in the bathroom to eat because I didn’t want to talk to a stranger while I was eating and I didn't want to awkwardly stand in the corner by myself either!
The approach I have taken is that my network doesn’t have to be extensive but it has to be deep enough that I could call in a favor without it being weird. I also ask myself if I would be willing to reciprocate the favor. One of my top pet peeves is small talk, and I’m happy to share that with this approach to network building it is not necessary but more on that in a future post.
Be Gracious… especially when it comes to other people’s time! We all have the same 24 hours in a day so I am always very mindful when others choose to spend their time with me. Particularly in the professional world, time always has an opportunity cost; the other person is giving up something to help me. To me, it is always respectful to thank people for their time. Depending on the circumstance, I am partial to handwritten notes and I do regret not sending one after that lunch.
Dream...this can be a struggle because I am always fearful that when I crystallize what I really want, then I am also setting myself up to more likely shatter should I not get what I want. However, I have learned that if I don’t dream it, I won’t know what I’m going for and I’m not very good at navigating to an unknown destination. It is difficult to want fantastical things but I encourage and allow myself every day to want them anyway because it is even more difficult to deal with regret. Aiming for the moon will at least land me among the stars, right? This is what I’ve equated to being in an empire state of mind.
What does ‘empire state of mind’ mean to you?
That 2014 trip wasn’t all work… there was some play too.
Alice in Wonderland Statue in Central Park
* I have come to understand this as slang New Yorkers use when referring to New York City, because is there any other city?
