no reason to stay
You can’t find new land without losing sight of the shore.
- adapted from Andre Gide (winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1947)
If you asked me ten years ago where I saw myself the only straight answer I could give was “not here”. I can be a meticulous planner, but the last ten years have been a combination of leaps of faith and tackling my ambitions with pragmatism. About half the time I would say “bahala na si Batman” which is the Filipino way of going about throwing caution to the wind. The metaphor, if I can call it that, is a really good description because when I found myself clueless - and this happened fairly often - I just kept the faith that everything would fall into place. So yeah, Batman, in fact, has absolutely nothing to do with it but I digress.
Growing up, the word “ambition” was primarily associated with a career but what I’ve come to learn is that it is all encompassing and should be taken into consideration across everything you’re aspiring for in life. In the recent movie adaptation of the book The Secret, one of the characters says something along the lines of: “how can you ask for it, if you don’t know what you want?”
Moving to Singapore was a “no brainer” for me. I wanted - still do - to live abroad. I had spent about two years in the corporate world and was enjoying it but wasn’t quite sure what I would make out of it. I was presented an opportunity of taking a job with an internationally recognized firm and was moving to one of the foremost cities in the world. What was there to think about? There was nothing keeping me in Manila, therefore... no reason to stay, is enough reason to go!
view from the learning and development floor of my office building in Singapore
Cross Street, April 2014
However, my next two moves were a little more trivial and complex for me; after all, I wasn’t as clueless as I once was (with wisdom comes great responsibility?). Here are a few things I purposefully thought about when considering where I was going next.
The most apparent was considering my professional growth. I’m not about to dish out career advice but here are a couple things I evaluated. There are specifics I considered with each move but these three were present when working through both moving to New York and Amsterdam:
Skills. Which of my skills would I be able to sharpen and what new skills would I have the opportunity to learn?
Team. Would I be working with a team that I would be impressed by?
Market. What insights would a new market offer me and what role does the market play in the global stage?
Also obvious was considering my personal growth. Again, not dishing out advice here because “personal” is just about as intimate as it gets when it comes to these things. In other words, to each their own when it comes to these things!
Culture. Is there something about the culture that I admire or am looking forward to getting to know and be a part of?
Vibe. Did I like the place when I visited? Does the energy allow me to manifest my dreams?
Liveability. Can I live here? How would living in this place enrich my life?
Interestingly enough, as I look back on this, considerations for my professional development took precedent when deciding to move to New York. Maybe I was trying to convince myself that I wasn’t moving for the sake of moving to New York? I’ve observed that New York is oftentimes considered the pinnacle of ambition but this wasn’t the case for me. I think I had to legitimize why New York was the right move for me. However, as I planned my move for Amsterdam I was looking for something that would feed my heart and soul as much as it would feed my mind. (Cheesy and a tall order huh? I know.)
view from my first desk at my office in Manhattan
42nd Street, August 2016
Last, but not least, of my considerations was my community. I thought about my current setup and my ability to build a new one where I was planning to land. Making friends as an adult is not as easy as sharing toys in a sandbox (not that I ever really shared my toys or played in a sandbox. ha!) I saved this consideration for last because this is where the reset really happens and the area where you have to pour the most energy into. The community you step away from is the day-to-day comfort you need to convince yourself is ok to leave. Lucky for me, those communities remain to be supportive - thank you, technology! So while your community will give you every reason to stay, they are the same people who will recognize just how much your move will mean to you and therefore convince you that you have no reason to stay.
