enough reason to go
“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind. ” —C.S. Lewis
Some of my favorites books from my childhood were The Chronicles of Narnia; in hindsight, could this be the reason I’m always seeking adventure in some new, far away land? As I was looking into the author, C.S. Lewis, I came across this quote and back then the concept of leaving anything behind was just a matter of finishing up a school year and looking forward to moving up to the next grade. It stuck with me though, and one way or another I was always looking for “better” - whatever that meant.
In my last post, ‘no reason to stay’, I talked about the things to consider when making the trade to leave things behind. Now I’m going to talk about five things I look forward to when moving abroad and landing in a new place. Plus photos from the three activities I would have had a hard time convincing myself to try if I was not living abroad.
anyone else fascinated by marine life
but deathly afraid by what lurks in the ocean?
I spent a weekend on this beautiful island off the coast of Malaysia and got my PADI scuba diver qualification. I don’t have my open water certification because I nearly drowned during my third open water dive and only had the energy to complete my fourth one after. I decided to hang back on the island while the rest of my friends finished their fifth.
Tioman Island (April 2013)*
I have been and continue to be challenged but I’ve honed my resilience.
Moving abroad is the supreme way to test and, if you’re lucky, expand your comfort zone. When everything is new and every experience is different, it can get extremely overwhelming. I have cried and wallowed in the corner of my room and only stopped when I had been comforted by almost an entire bag of Doritos. It can seem like everything you need to do is an obstacle. It will be tough but as you go through your list and strike things of one by one (Find an apartment, check! Sign the rental paperwork, check! Set up the internet, check!); you get a whole new sense of courage and you learn how to give yourself a pat on the back!
For the record, challenges are not limited to the big life changing ones, a poignant memory for me in this space was buying too many things in the grocery and struggling to carry them home because I couldn’t spend on a cab when I had already over spent on groceries! Although embarrassing to have to return things at the checkout line, I realized that the only person who really cared about it was me. The cashier and the person behind you may get annoyed but they will barely remember you after they’ve forgotten that (minor) inconvenience all together!
anyone else prefer après-ski
to actual skiing?
I went skiing for the first time ever, not sure why I thought I would like it considering I’m as uncoordinated as they come and not fond of the cold.
Hunter Mountain, NY (February 2016)
I have diversified my tastes.
I was an extremely picky eater growing up; these days I literally eat everything and the only thing that slows me down is my inability to tolerate too much spice. (If you want me to try something obscure, don’t tell me what it is until I’ve tried it!) In the concrete jungles of Singapore and New York, I spent my days moving from one establishment to the next but here in Amsterdam I’ve learned to enjoy a walk in the park. Diversifying my taste in food and recreation was just the beginning; and as I got more exposed to the culture and people, I started to find myself looking for certain qualities that I never thought of before or realizing that certain values are more important to you than others. For example, I appreciate it more than now when someone practices their faith - whatever it is - which I never really thought about growing up in a predominantly Catholic country.
I have sharpened my social skills.
New culture, new people, new way of life - how do you make sure you don’t offend anyone in the process of learning it all? It is not easy making friends as an adult much less in a new place - I for one have become more skeptical and also more protective of myself. Even if “stranger danger” was flashing in my head, I have had to be cautious but not closed up when meeting new people. I have also had to get creative when navigating certain social situations from learning how many air kisses to give when saying hello and goodbye to accepting handshakes I didn’t really want to. Admit it, you’ve been there!
any other adults out there who didn’t learn
how to ride a bicycle as a child?
I learned how to ride a bike just last year,** I was very much intimated by the children who ride around like their bikes are extensions of their limbs.
Oosterpark Amsterdam, NL (August 2020)
I learned to thrive in change.
I have noticed myself becoming more adaptable and tolerant, after all many things are culturally subjective. I’ve become more open-minded and learned to appreciate more perspectives; I’ve changed and developed new perspectives too - the line between what I wanted vis-a-vis what I needed became much clearer. I still get overwhelmed, but I now find that I have the grit and determination to triage and move forward. It is not the end of the world when you have taxes due but can’t find the online banking details that were mailed to you and all the instructions you can find online to reset are in a language you are still learning!
Last, but not least, I have lost myself and I have built myself back …but that’s a story for another blog ;-)
*I’m saying Tioman, but my memory could be wrong and I can’t verify because my geotags are all missing.
** If you just moved to Amsterdam and need to learn how to ride a bike, I highly recommend Koala Bike Lessons. Jimmy is super patient and if you’re uncoordinated will help you navigate the thought process as well.
